Five things couples do that hurt their marriage

Distancing and divorce don’t happen overnight but result from many small miss-steps. There is hope! Let us help you get unstuck and encounter a reinvigorated marriage!

  1. Couples allow problems to go unresolved

Every time we allow a problem to go unresolved, we put a little more distance between each other. She says he is too harsh with the children. He says she lets the kids walk all over her. Either they are both wrong or one of them is right. Allowing such differences to remain in the relationship only leads to more problems. If you can’t resolve a problem between the two of you, seek help. Our job as your counselor is not to make decisions for you, but to help you learn how to get unstuck and move forward.

  1. Couples quit having fun together

When you were dating and first getting to know each other, you had a lot of fun! Now, your life mainly consists of responsibilities. Your conversations are centered around tasks and problems, you have little time for or with each other, and you’ve forgotten how to “date” like you once did. This is not how you thought it would be. But you are stuck. Sometimes we need help getting unstuck.

  1. Couples vent to each other without solving any problems

You have drifted apart. You both resent the other. There are too many unresolved differences, and you can no longer talk through a problem. When one of you brings up an issue, the other one brings up issues they want to talk about. You both express your hurts and frustrations, which the other one does not acknowledge. You avoid interacting because it does not go well. You are stuck and you need help.

  1. Couples focus on relations outside of each other

Because your relationship is not working very well, the husband finds his work to be more rewarding and focuses on that. The wife builds relationships with her children, often becoming more of a friend than a parent. Forces are building to push you toward a divorce.

  1. Couples accept their relationship growing more distant

Couples make peace with a non-marriage marriage; a relationship that is formally a relationship but does not work on the practical day-to-day level. They make do for the sake of their children or because they do not believe in divorce. The irony is that their relationship looks like a practical divorce without the formality. If this sounds familiar, you need help.


You love each other, and your marriage can be fixed. How do I know that?

You are still together, and the poor state of your marriage matters to you.

You vowed to love ‘till death do us part’. Vows matter to you.

And most importantly, God is active in your life. He wants you to love your spouse and is working in your heart toward that end.

If your marriage is hurting, please give us a call. Whether you need guidance learning how to date again, working through unresolved problems, or seeking reconciliation after years of drifting, we can help!